Sparkle & Fade

I used to know a girl... She had two pierced nipples and a black tattoo We'd drink that Mexican beer We'd live on Mexican food Yes, I wish I could go back Yes, back in time Esther used to be the kind of girl that you would never leave She'd do anything to give me what I need for my disease She'd do anything I can hear them talking in the real world But they don't understand that I'm happy in hell With my Heroin Girl I am losing myself in a white-trash hell Lost inside a Heroin girl They found her out in the fields About a mile from home Her face was warm from the sun But her body was cold I heard the policeman say Just another overdose ...just another overdose! Esther used to be the kind of lover you would never leave She'd do anything to give me what I need for my disease She would do anything 

I take your word like it was gospel, I'm so eager to please Yeah I like it when you talk to me It feels so good inside your shadow, it's the place I need to be Yeah you know I need to climb you like a tree There is this place inside where all the good things die Sometimes I feel like a whore I hate the way I am around you, I'm so nervous and weird Sometimes I feel like I'm breathing underwater You treat me like I am on fire, like I'm something to eat You make me hate what I see when I see me Yeah I dream of the day when I learn how to make you pay Someday I'll teach you to beg, someday, someday Yes I live for the day when I can hear you say You make me feel like a whore Yes I dream of the time when I can make you mine Maybe then I'll feel half alive, more alive, so alive There is this place inside where all the good things die You make me feel like a whore 

I am still livin' with your ghost Lonely and dreamin' of the west coast I don't wanna be your downtime I don't wanna be your stupid game With my big black boots and an old suitcase I do believe I'll find myself a new place I don't wanna be the bad guy I don't wanna do your sleepwalk dance anymore I just wanna see some palm trees I will try and shake away this disease We can live beside the ocean Leave the fire behind Swim out past the breakers Watch the world die We can live beside the ocean Leave the fire behind Swim out past the breakers Watch the world die I am still dreamin' of your face Hungry and hollow for all the things you took away I don't wanna be your good time I don't wanna be your fallback crutch anymore Walk right out into a brand new day Insane and rising' in my own weird way I don't wanna be the bad guy I don't wanna do your sleepwalk dance anymore I just wanna feel some sunshine I just wanna find some place to be alone chorus chorus Yeah watch the world die 

Let's just drive your car We could drive all day Let's just get the hell away from here For I am sick again Just plain sick to death Of the sound of my own voice We could leave behind another wasted year Get some cheap red wine and just go flying We could do the things, All the things you wanted to No one cares about us anyway I think I lost my smile I think you lost yours too We have lost the power to make each other laugh Let's just leave this place And go to Summerland Just a name on the map Sounds like heaven to me We could find a town Be just how we want to be No one here really cares about us anyway We could find a place Make it what we want it to be No one really gives a fuck about us anyway We could live just like we want to live No one here really cares about us anyway We could be everything we want to be We could get lost in the Fall Glimmer Sparkle and Fade The Sparkle and Fade Fall Glimmer Sparkle and Fade Forget about our jobs at the record store Forget about all the losers that we know Forget about all the memories that keep you down Forget about them We could lose them in the Sparkle and Fade We could leave them behind in the Sparkle and Fade Yeah Sparkle and Fade Fall Glimmer Sparkle and Fade 

Never been here, never coming back Never want to think about the things That happened today Want to lay down on the warm ground I think I'm going to need a little time to myself Don't fall down now You will never get up Don't fall down now I ask you for a slow ride Going nowhere You look like Satan You ask me if I want to get high Couple of bags down in old town You tie your arm and Ask me if I wanted to drive Don't fall down now You will never get up Don't fall down now Last thing I recall I was in the air I woke up on the street Crawling with my strawberry burns Ten long years in a straight line They fall like water Yes, I guess I fucked up again Don't fall down now You will never get up Don't fall down now 

Time stops when the whispers blare The voices drop hard, but the eyes still stare The world resolves into a death's head grin Because I walk with pride with a black girlfriend My mom said not to bring her around 'Cause she's black my family would put her down I'll break the white-trash ties that bind Trade a love so pure for a hate so blind She said, she said Forget the fact that I don't look like you She said, she said You're possessed with a power Bigger than the pain Time stops when we lie so close In my room where we share what no one knows From the day that we start Until the day that we end I know I know I know now We will never find a place where we can just fit in Me and my black girlfriend She said, she said Fend for yourself, you're alone She said, she said You are possessed with a power Bigger than the pain A power bigger than the pain Heartspark Dollarsign 

We have been sleeping with the lights on Just about every night Because we are afraid of what the dark might bring I know, I know it's just a childish fear That grows and grows wild in the middle of me I'm gonna get a new tattoo Black and stretching around my arm Like a life that is visible and real I know, I know it's stupid and immature I just want to give shape to the face That twists inside both you and me Breathing fire doesn't look good on a resume Neither does anything else we do We got to get ready for the real world Yeah yeah we got to grow up You know I like to die for awhile Everyday in the afternoon I like to let the arms of a bar wrap around me tight I'm just going to sprawl in the front booth Big drink above my head Cross eyed and smiling as I watch the world go twisting by I don't want to die with you, Or live in the same dark room I don't want to see your bloodshot eyes no more, no more I just want to take this girl all curls and big brown eyes Man I can't take the pain of wanting her, needing her I know the secret of your soul And I just don't want to know Yeah, man we got to grow up 

She is everywhere I am Yeah when I don't want her to be there I kinda want to leave in a hurry She's walking on the city Heavy in her monster boots I hear her calling my name I hide behind the people that I want to be I hear her calling my name I can see the future when she tells me how it's going to be She is perpetual Kathy All shake and happy in her brand new skin She is perpetual Kathy She is always the same She is everything that I'm not Strong and happy with the sound of the rhythm inside I do not want to be a broken record, But I don't want to live in the shadow of a twelve-step I hear her calling my name Next thing you know I think I'll want to be a better man I hear her calling my name Yeah, I used to be a devil but they never seemed to give a damn chorus 

There is this rumor about They say you're leaving Nehalem Ever since our baby died You've been seen with another guy The whole damn town is talking now They say you're leaving Nehalem Hey don't you want me to go? Hey don't you want me? They say you're losing your mind They say you're leaving Nehalem You know how the bad words get around Big noise in a hard small town Tell me if you want me to go Just tell me if you want me They say you're leaving Nehalem They say you're leaving me Yeah, I know you need to break away I don't give a fuck about what those people say I hope you find everywhere you go All the good things that you need to know They say you're losing your mind They say you're leaving Nehalem There is this rumor out They say you're leaving Nehalem They say you're leaving me They say you're leaving Nehalem I know you're leaving me I know you're leaving Nehalem I know you're leaving me 

There is a dream I used to have My dream swallowed me whole There is a bridge where I hate to go That is where I first saw her High on the bridge I seen her red hair shining There is a girl I never knew She was my Aunt Virginia They said that she, she just disappeared They said I look just like her High on the bridge I seen her dancing, waving to me there She smiled and raised her head Then she took to the Air There is a dream I can't escape My memories come back to me There is a hell I can't escape My memories come back to me I heard the truth about it Pictures and headlines hidden away I heard the truth about my real mom Jumping from the bridge that day Now I know why ever since I was 3 years old Been having the same nightmare Now I know the truth about Virginia Why she took to the Air 

Amanda is in love with the sight of the moon She's got pale green stars in her room Right above her bed Put them on the ceiling Leave on the light When the sun goes down then the stars might shine Shining in the dark Skinny little girl in her room alone She's got hell to spare in her home If you can call it a home Doesn't want to be like anybody else When no one is around she talks to herself I can hear her in the night Hey, hey yeah It's hard on a girl When the blood won't come when it ought to come It's hard on a girl When you try to walk around on the shaky ground Hey, hey Daddy's going away Scared little girl watching Aladdin on TV Amanda always cries when you yell at me Yeah, please don't yell at me Climb up all the stairs Close the door Doesn't want to hear us fighting anymore Yeah, better call it a day Hey, hey yeah It's hard on a young girl She thinks it's all her fault when it all goes wrong It's hard on a grown man too See my baby crying at the window calling out my name Hey, hey Daddy's going away She's got pale green stars in her room 

She lost her focus yesterday She lost her focus in the sun She sits and stares at it for hours She says she likes to go outside She gets hung up on the wind She gets lost inside the happy noise Sometimes I don't understand her Sometimes I don't want to understand her She says no, no, no, no, no, no She don't want no double life She says I should know why She seems happier at night Her color TV and her chemical smile I don't wanna know the reason I don't wanna know the reason I don't wanna know the reason why She says, she says, she says, she says, she says Jesus owes her money She says, she says, she says, she says, she says The angels are her friends What the hell does that mean? She's got the chemical smile Yeah she's got a chemical smile Yeah she's got the chemical smile Baby's got a chemical smile She says, she says... 

People you know try tll you things Bad things that you don't want to know about Tell you tomorrow what you did today Just remember, it's a small town It's a real small town She gets she's tired of all the stupid boys She can't wait until they're done She wants a man who can take his time She wants someone who can make her come Yeah, can you make me come You always say you want a simple life You and me both know that you are a liar You always say you want a simple life Hearing you talk just makes me tired Swim in the heavy water Buried in the sand Happy hearts fall from my shaky hands I can't hide my sexual life He always says he wants to find a special one But you watch his head go spinning around He really wants anyone who'll give it up He seems to forget he's in a small town You always say you never fuck around You say this town is just plain full of liars Yeah you always say you never fuck around Hey, hearing you talk just makes me tired Swimming in the heavy water Buried in the sand Happy hearts fall from my stupid hands I can't hide my sexual life My Sexual Life